Our Blog

On May 10, 2012, Dr. Harold Ivan Smith will be presenting: Grief and the White House Families: What Lessons Can They Offer?

Sooner or later, everyone is touched by grief—even those who live at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Twenty-seven presidential families have had a child die, some while in the White House. Three first ladies have died in the White House. The East Room has been the location for many funerals and wakes. These White House families have insights that may prove valuable in our grief.

This presentation will cover the following topics:
Objective One: Identify White House families well acquainted with grief.
Objective Two: Describe principles the families used for facing the grief and for finding gifts in the grief.
Objective Three: Develop a new appreciation for the universality of grief.
Objective Four: Apply one principle that can make a difference in a griever’s life.

Dr. Harold Ivan Smith, the presenter, is a writer, speaker & storyteller.

This event is free and open to all. The presentation will be held on Thursday, May 10, 2012 at 7pm at Horan & McConaty Funeral Home located at 1091 S. Colorado Blvd., Denver, CO 80246 (at Mississippi Blvd.). Please join us for this presentation!

Please join us as we welcome back Dr. Harold Ivan Smith, speaker, writer, teacher and story- teller extraordinaire. As a grief educator, Harold Ivan Smith is a wordsmith and storyteller, whether through his speaking, teaching, writing, or counseling. Through his word pictures and stories, listeners and readers say, “I never quite thought of it that way before.”

Harold Ivan Smith is a graduate of The Mid-America College of Funeral Service, Scarritt College (M.A.), George Peabody College of Vanderbilt University (Ed.S.), and has a doctorate from Asbury Theological Seminary. He is recognized as a Fellow in Thanatology by the Association for Death Education and Counseling. Harold Ivan also leads Grief Gatherings—innovative storytelling groups—at Saint Luke’s Hospital in Kansas City, Missouri, where he is a member of the teaching faculty.

Objectives:
*To diffuse negative strategies that prevent adequate self-care
*To explore common elements of “Ahhhhh”experiences.
*To enfranchise permission strategies for self-care.

When: Thursday, May 10, 2012. The same session will be offered in both the morning and afternoon to allow teams to take turns attending. Morning session from 9 – 11:30am. Buffet lunch from 11:30 – 1:30. Afternoon session from 1:30 – 4pm.
Where: Horan & McConaty 5303 E. County Line Rd. Centennial, CO 80112 (just west of Holly St.)
Who: Hospice and hospital staff and volunteers, victim advocate professionals and volunteers, clergy, lay ministers and others caring for our community
Cost: FREE, but you MUST register by May 7, 2012. Certificate of attendance provided.
How to register: Please Email ejohnson@horancares.com or call 720.748.9908.

Even though it is often a difficult topic to discuss, it’s important to talk about your wishes with your loved ones. In sharing your thoughts now, you will help in relieving the burden associated with trying to make the “right” decision on how arrangements should be made in the future. This insight will give peace of mind to those closest to you, especially in the event of an accident, illness or injury.

Upon sharing your wishes, you may decide that you would like to pre-arrange your services. By planning your own funeral in advance, you will allow for those closest to you to concentrate on the difficult process of grieving and coping with the loss without the worry of details associated with your funeral.

By fully pre-planning, it relieves you and your family from future financial responsibility. Our funeral home has options to make sure your funeral is fully funded and price protected years in advance of your need.

Pre-planning gives you the opportunity to personalize your funeral and make it a tribute to the life you lived. It’s a great way to get your loved ones involved and can make a difficult experience a more positive one.

To walk through our pre-planning guide, please visit the following link: http://www.horancares.com/_mgxroot/page_10818.php

Music has the power to effect our emotions in many ways. Research shows that memory of high emotional charge stimulates the brain to record that and all the other things that were going on at that specific moment.

Our brain connects sounds, smells, and feelings to the event that has occurred and links them together. In the event of a tragedy, if there is a specific sound or musical background, those involved may find themselves experiencing the feelings associated with their tragedy every time they hear that specific sound.

This explains why certain songs create emotions and why the songs we associate with funerals can create sadness. These emotions sometimes even escalate to a physical response, such as sobbing.

Because the brain makes the connection between song and emotion, the same song will not affect everyone in the same way. The song that may create sadness for one, could give another person the strength they need to help them through the grieving process.

There is something about music that evolves over time. When we hear a song we re-live the emotional sequence that happened when we heard it previously. When you start looking at the songs you listen to, pay attention to your emotions.

You might be surprised at how songs effect your emotions. Think of the songs you heard at the most recent funeral you attended? Is there an emotional response to any of those songs?

For many people, wearing black to a funeral has and still is a symbol of grief and sympathy. Although society has become more relaxed about appropriate attire at a funeral today, it is typically customary to wear clothing that is in subdued colors and more conservative.

If you are unsure of what to wear, a good rule of thumb is to dress in your “Sunday best”. Generally speaking, you do not want to dress too casually. Jeans, t-shirts, sneakers, and sweatshirts are probably not the most suitable attire. To that end, women should also avoid wearing clothing that draws attention, such as short skirts and low necklines.

In certain traditions, there may be colors and styles that are culturally inappropriate. It’s important to check into what is appropriate to wear if you are attending a service of a faith or ethnicity that you are unfamiliar with. You can find this information by asking friends or family members that are aware of the culture and traditions.

If you’re still struggling to determine what you should wear, pick an outfit, and have a friend give you their opinion. At the end of the day, it isn’t about the clothing you choose, and in most cases, no one will remember what you were wearing. What they will remember is that you were there.

There are many benefits to pre-planning funeral arrangements. It provides peace of mind and can greatly reduce stress for your family, and costs of the funeral can be controlled, allowing you to make decisions based on your budget.

We are often asked about payment options when pre-planning. Payment in full guarantees the price of the funeral service and merchandise you have selected.

Pre-funding through life insurance is becoming a growing trend. Funding with insurance coverage or a trust are two ways pre-funding is handled.

Most importantly, you are protected. Funding of your pre-planned services is backed by a national industry leader in preneed insurance.

In addition, there are also tax benefits. Our plan provides life insurance benefits that are exempt from federal income tax when paid to a named beneficiary. Neither the increasing value of the coverage nor the total benefits paid at the time of death are taxable on a federal income tax level.

Do you have questions about pre-planning or the financial options available? Leave us a comment.

Arlington National Cemetery is the second-largest Cemetery in the United States, with over 300,00 people interred there. Among the most visited sites at Arlington National Cemetery is The Tomb of the Unknowns, which is the resting place of three unknown servicemen.

There have been four soldiers interred in the Tomb of the Unknowns, with three remaining there. The first Unknown Soldier was from World War I, the second from World War II and the third from the Korean Conflict.

The fourth Unknown Soldier was from the Vietnam Conflict, but was later identified as First Lt. Michael Blassie of the Air Force. After being identified through DNA testing, his family had his body reinterred near their home.

The Tomb of the Unknowns has been continuously guarded since April 1948. According to the Society of the Honor Guard, “The soldiers who stand guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier are hand picked and rigorously trained. They have come from every state in the union, every walk of life. There are men and women. For some this is their first unit in the Army, others are veterans of many years. Over the years there have been Regular Army and Draftees.

Each soldier must have strong military bearing, discipline, stamina and present an outstanding soldierly appearance. Each Sentinel must be able to flawlessly perform seven different types of walks, honors and ceremonies. They must retain vast amounts of knowledge concerning the Tomb, Arlington National Cemetery, the United States Army and their unit.”

The Tomb Guards must learn about over 150 different grave sites, 12 poems and detailed history of Arlington National Cemetery, the Tomb and its guards, as well as the US Army and the Regiment. Being selected to stand watch over the graves of the Unknown Soldiers is one of the highest honors a soldier in the United States Army can be granted. Selection is very rigorous, with only 20% of soldiers applying, being selected.

Have you had the opportunity to visit Arlington National Cemetery and the Tomb of the Unknowns? We’d love to hear your comments on your visit.

A military funeral is a memorial service for veterans, soldiers, marines, and other military notables. The military funeral is made up of elements, “funeral honors” that can be incorporated into the fallen soldier’s funeral service, if his/her family should choose to.

Possibly the most commonly incorporated funeral honor incorporates the American Flag. The draping of the American Flag on the casket is done by placing the blue section of the flag at the head of the casket, over the left shoulder of the deceased.

The flag folding ceremony is a military funeral honor representing the principles of which our country was originally founded, with every fold symbolizing a different aspect, starting with the symbol of life.

The performance of Taps is also often played to conclude a military funeral. If TAPS is played, it is done by using a single bugle, performed by a buglar or a recording of one.

Other funeral honors that have been incorporated into military funeral ceremonies, include the presence of a rider-less horse, an escort military band and platoon, an aerial flyover or a horse-drawn caisson. These traditions have evolved and depending on officer rank are more appropriate.

Military funeral service are governed by the Department of Veterans Affairs. Soldiers and veterans with honorable discharge are eligible to receive this honor, with the exception of those who have been indicted for a capital.

Our funeral directors are experienced and knowledgeable with military funeral services and honors, and would be more than willing to help make arrangements for honor guards, funeral honors, military cemetary burials, and other elements of a military funeral.

Although many people don’t like talking about death, it’s a very important topic to discuss with those that are closest to you. By sharing your wishes now, you will relieve the burden associated with trying to make the “right” decision on how arrangements should be made. This insight will give peace of mind to those closest to you, especially in the event of a fatal accident, illness or injury.

By planning your own funeral in advance, you will allow for those closest to you to concentrate on the difficult process of grieving and coping with the loss without the worry of details such as choosing flowers for your coffin, clothes for you to wear, or even the cost of burial or cremation.

In terms of cost, pre-planning fully eliminates the emotional overspending that often results from from grief or guilt, while also relieving you and your family from future financial responsibility. Our funeral home has options to make sure your funeral is fully funded and price protected years in advance of your need.

Pre-planning gives you the opportunity to personalize your funeral and make it a tribute to the life you lived. It’s a great way to get your loved ones involved and can make a difficult experience a more positive one. To walk through our pre-planning guide, please visit the following link: http://www.horancares.com/_mgxroot/page_10818.php.