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Making It Through the Holidays

What do the holidays mean to you? For many people, it’s a joyous time of year, a time to celebrate family and friends, and a time to be grateful for life’s blessings, remembering important days gone by and rejoicing in the present moment. For others, though, the holidays are a painful season, when the vacant spaces left by lost loved ones make them wish the holidays would pass quickly. How do you celebrate the holidays, when you don’t feel like celebrating anything?

  • Don’t cancel. It may be tempting to hide away from the holidays, but you’d be doing yourself a disservice. Instead, decide how you want to celebrate it, and let your loved ones know about changes you plan to make. You may want to get away entirely, maybe taking a vacation, or you may be comforted by familiar traditions. Everyone grieves differently, and how you choose to spend your holiday is yours to determine.

gettingaway

  • Keep the world out if that’s what you need. Even for people in good spirits, the commercialism and constant cheer of the holidays can be a bit wearing. If you’re grieving, it’s likely to be nearly unbearable. Take some quiet time, to do something you enjoy, without any interference from the outside world. Maybe that’s doing some holiday baking, maybe it’s reading a book and listening to your favorite music, or maybe it’s something completely unrelated to the holidays, like going for a pedicure or facial, taking a walk, or seeing a movie. The important thing is to find a way to relax and enjoy yourself.

readingbyfire

  • Don’t expect perfection. You may have hosted a Pinterest worthy holiday meal every year in your home, and your decorations may have been the best of anyone you know, but this year, it might be time to let some things go. Make a big meal, or delegate it to someone else, or don’t have it at all! Shop for the perfect gifts, or give everyone gift cards you ordered online. It may help you to do the things you’ve always done, or it may benefit you to go for whatever is easiest. There’s no wrong answer, but don’t put pressure on yourself to live up to the “perfect” holiday.

mealatxmas

  • Let people in. Talk to your friends and family members about how you’re feeling. Spend time with your favorite people, and accept offers of help and support. While it’s certainly fine to turn down invitations you think will be stressful or painful, it’s also important to feel connected with other people. Sharing your feelings and memories with those you love can help you begin to heal.

We hope that your holidays are meaningful. That’s why we offer assistance to those who have lost a loved one, through information about grief counseling, support groups, recommended reading, and services of remembrance. If there’s any way we can help you this holiday season, as you work your way through a difficult time, please don’t hesitate to contact us.  Please contact Jennifer McBride at 303-577-6057 or jmcbride@horancares.com for information about grief support options in our community.

5 Tips for Dealing with Grief During the Holiday Season

It seems like every year the holiday season gets longer. Stores start putting out Christmas decorations before we’ve even moved past Halloween, and it seems like the holidays go on for months and months. For those who are grieving, it can feel like an eternity. How will you make it through the holidays this year? Decide on a course of action, and follow some simple guidelines.

1. Make your own plans. You get to decide whether to keep holiday traditions or create new ones, and you can do as much or as little as you want to do. Be assertive about events held in your own home, letting your loved ones know ahead of time what changes you are making to the holiday celebrations. If you’re going somewhere else to celebrate, make sure to take your own car so that you aren’t stuck waiting for someone else to be ready to leave. You need to be able to leave if you become uncomfortable or just want to be home.

baking2. Allow yourself to feel. It’s ok to be sad when everyone else is celebrating. Don’t resist joy if it presents itself, but don’t feel guilty for experiencing negative emotions. Your grief experience is your own, and whatever you feel, be it sadness, guilt, anger, or joy, is part of that unique experience.

3. Accept support. This may mean surrounding yourself with friends and family, or it may mean talking about your feelings with one trusted person. It can also mean reaching out for professional help, whether that means attending a support group or a service of remembrance, or seeking counseling.

sadwoman4. Make room for memories. The holidays can be a nostalgic time, even for those who haven’t suffered a loss. If you allow them to, your memories may be a helpful part of your healing process. Share your memories of your loved one with others by telling stories and looking at photo albums. You can also make a memory box with photos of the person you’ve lost, and notes from family and friends. Consider memorializing your loved one in your holiday celebration, perhaps by setting an extra place at the table or lighting a special candle.

memories5. Reach out to others. Sometimes it can be very healing to help someone else. Find ways to connect with those around you by giving of your time, talents and resources. You might invite a guest to dinner who might otherwise be alone, or you might “adopt” a needy family for the holiday. You could also give a donation in memory of your loved one, or provide flowers or other decorations to your place of worship. Being generous with others helps you as you’re helping them, and can ease the pain of your grief.

If you need help dealing with grief this holiday season, we are here to help. We can provide resources, from recommended reading, to support groups, to counseling, to help you find your way through the grief and onto the path toward healing. Contact us today to learn more about what we have to offer. And above all, we hope you have a meaningful holiday season.

5 Tips for dealing with grief during the holiday season

It seems like every year the holiday season gets longer. Stores start putting out Christmas decorations before we’ve even moved past Halloween, and it seems like the holidays go on for months and months. For those who are grieving, it can feel like an eternity. How will you make it through the holidays this year? Decide on a course of action, and follow some simple guidelines.

1. Make your own plans. You get to decide whether to keep holiday traditions or create new ones, and you can do as much or as little as you want to do. Be assertive about events held in your own home, letting your loved ones know ahead of time what changes you are making to the holiday celebrations. If you’re going somewhere else to celebrate, make sure to take your own car so that you aren’t stuck waiting for someone else to be ready to leave. You need to be able to leave if you become uncomfortable or just want to be home

baking2. Allow yourself to feel. It’s ok to be sad when everyone else is celebrating. Don’t resist joy if it presents itself, but don’t feel guilty for experiencing negative emotions. Your grief experience is your own, and whatever you feel, be it sadness, guilt, anger, or joy, is part of that unique experience.

3. Accept support. This may mean surrounding yourself with friends and family, or it may mean talking about your feelings with one trusted person. It can also mean reaching out for professional help, whether that means attending a support group or a service of remembrance, or seeking counseling.

sadwoman4. Make room for memories. The holidays can be a nostalgic time, even for those who haven’t suffered a loss. If you allow them to, your memories may be a helpful part of your healing process. Share your memories of your loved one with others by telling stories and looking at photo albums. You can also make a memory box with photos of the person you’ve lost, and notes from family and friends. Consider memorializing your loved one in your holiday celebration, perhaps by setting an extra place at the table or lighting a special candle.

memories5. Reach out to others. Sometimes it can be very healing to help someone else. Find ways to connect with those around you by giving of your time, talents and resources. You might invite a guest to dinner who might otherwise be alone, or you might “adopt” a needy family for the holiday. You could also give a donation in memory of your loved one, or provide flowers or other decorations to your place of worship. Being generous with others helps you as you’re helping them, and can ease the pain of your grief.

If you need help dealing with grief this holiday season, we are here to help. We can provide resources, from recommended reading, to support groups, to counseling, to help you find your way through the grief and onto the path toward healing. Contact us today to learn more about what we have to offer. And above all, we hope you have a meaningful holiday season.

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