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Welcome to our blog.

Our purpose is to provide information that helps you cope with some of the most difficult and painful times of your life. I hope you find this helpful and interesting. Your feedback is encouraged and appreciated!

A well-known therapist and researcher on death and dying described Americans as the only country where people think death is optional. This same individual described Baby-Boomers as the “first death-free generation in the history of human kind.” As a Baby Boomer myself, I can identify with this as someone who has lived to the age of 52 and not experienced a death within my immediate circle, my parents, my wife, my children, my siblings. In previous generations death was more common among younger people, whether from disease, accidents or in other manners.

The classic “fight vs. flight” dilemma taught in psychology classes becomes real everyday to the people we serve. Some say “try to not think about it, stay busy, get on with your life.” And some say “we have to face this; by leaning toward our pain we move more through it more effectively.”

Which approach sounds more correct for you?

My experience is that people who choose “fight,” choosing to do the hard things that involve confronting the painful realities of the death of someone loved, are the ones who lug around less emotional baggage, more fully experience life’s lows and highs, and mourn more completely.

I want to tell you about “Lisa.” The love of Lisa’s life died much too young. Today, when I see Lisa visiting her husband’s memorial, sitting pensively and deep in thought, I see a woman doing exactly what she needs to do, leaning toward her pain. Lisa’s choice to embrace her pain is not only helping her to cope, but to also receive “divine momentum” that helps Lisa move forward toward other meaningful relationships and a life worth living.

I welcome your comments at jhoran@horancares.com

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